-APHASIA-

i’m home…at hayward that is… i feel so exhausted, empty, sad, sleepless ( i look like a zombie!). i’m currently in a state of a melancholic depression.

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a time for everything…a time to be born and a time to die; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build up; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to keep and a time to cast away; a time to love and a time to hate.

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found a new bestfriend in…..advil..takes my headaches in a flash..good grief!

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new discovery: problems are directly proportional to a person’s age; the older you get, the more complicated and painful they become.

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you are right….what hurts the most in breaking up and falling out of love is not the falling out but the sudden stop. this would mean unlearning all the things that you have been doing that revolve around her..but i think you’ve been doing that before she came, right? you can do it…sorry i dont want to be so optimistic..might not be able to practice what i preach…i’m having a hard time too (sigh!)

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too late….sometimes you just come to the point when you realize that it’s not going to happen as you want it happen. it’s not that it won’t happen, it will, just differently. and just because it is not going to happen as you’ve expected and wanted it to, it doesnt mean its bad for you or that its never going to work. it doesnt mean you should turn your back and leave. sometimes, the best thing to do is just stay, for all you know, it may just work…well..too late..too late

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everyone said this shall pass..no matter how complicated..no matter how painful it may progress…no matter how much damage it may create…let it bleed…if it doesnt kill

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i lost you….now you are behind that glass, in a far away cradle. i wont be able to buy you even a cup of coffee at starbucks and see that wonderful sweet smile…in person. guess i’ll just content myself listening to your songs, looking at your pictures as i reminisce on those wonderful moments at ym…coupled with "what ifs" and "what mights"…dont want to blame anyone…dont want to hate you…this is a small planet…our paths will cross….maybe not tomorrow…not today…not in the distant future…but it will..i just know it will…goodbye ate…i love you….and its real..as real as myself!