-APHASIA-

i love you ditse! more birthdays to come!

hope you like the cake….as promise i will not post "the naman pictures" here   (sa multiply na lang ha ha ha)

so blessed to have a ditse like you…so proud to be your baby brother!

..about relationships. i saw how a great love was torn apart by lies and prejudices. i saw how a relationship involving money created a "monster" out of someone. i saw how someone could sacrifice her own happiness for the happiness of the one she loves.i saw how a couple struggled to keep their love alive. i saw how two people tried to fight for a love which they knew was morally and spiritually wrong from the very beginning.

there are relationships which opens you up to something new, something exciting, something you’ve never tried before or those that are old and familiar or those that brings up a lot of questions or those that brings you somewhere you never expected or those that bring you far from where you started or those that brings you back.

i think the most exciting and significant relationship that we could have is our relationship with ourselves. and if we find someone who will love the you that we love, i think that’s simply awesome.

note: thanks to you. you came back just at the right time. you’ve always been an encouragement to me and to the rest of the family. i do love you with all my heart, my dear ate.

..in my head that is. i spent a day at the hospital with dad and my emotions are fluctuating. he’s been dropping in and out of consciousness since he was admitted. aside from the prostate CA, the doctors said he has infection and its starting to spread in his blood. last night, he was having epileptic seizures and it scared the shit out of me.

i felt so alone. i called mommy (she’s in the Philippines) and i tried to show my bravest self. it didnt work. i just found myself breaking down. we prayed together. and i heard her say—Lord, thy will be done, You know what’s best for Daddy.

i miss daddy–the daddy before. i miss the sound of his voice and his endless lectures. i miss him more especially now that i know his situation is not getting any better. i can’t help but shed tears whenever i see the numerous IV tubes in his frail body. how i wish i could do something to ease his pain.

i dont want to think of the worst but i want to be prepared for it. mommy is right, HE knows what’s best for Daddy–and I want to leave it all up to Him. but at this point in time, i feel like i can’t live without Daddy, i just dont think i can.

a friend introduced me to her cousin, a fil-am and a new kid on the block. i like her cute nose and she looks really cute. we went out twice already, group date. well, on our last date, i asked her of her first impression of me and she said "guapo, mukhang mabait, friendly at saka mukhang malibog"

i was speechless!!!

..of caffeine that is. i had 2 cups of hot black coffee this morning (thanks to the vendo machine near the intern quarters)..and then I had 2 cups again when i got home…when i went out to join jigs and marlo for a walk…we had coffee at marlo’s place…then right now, as i do this blog, i’m having a cup of nescafe protect.. what’s happening to me? am i becoming the next caffeine king? well, i guess coffee is a perfect companion for a broken spirit. if you’ll ask me how i’m feeling right now, well, i can’t explain. ha ha ha. 

hey, got a message from someone i never expected would even bother to send one. i gotta answer this.i missed her.

i think i’ll have another cup….want some?

..to know that in the battles that i have right now, i know that i dont have to conquer it on my own as SOMEONE has already won the battle for me…some will think that i lose it..but i just knew…HE won it for me.

i respect your opinion. if you think you were fooled and played around, i can’t argue with that. but i just hope you’ll set aside your biases just for once and listen to the "other side".

i will never hate you. there will always be a special place in my heart for you…only the truth can set us all free.

God is also with us.