-APHASIA-

i  bought a gift for myself…tada

then had this for dinner

just taking a break….i believe i deserve that!

MEREDITH: "The fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good, and twice as much pleasure is better. That pain is bad, and no pain is better. But the reality is different. The reality is that pain is there to tell us something, and there’s only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomach ache. And maybe that’s okay. Maybe some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams."

me: i dont know how are we going to celebrate christmas.

me: yeah. sure. happy birthday Jesus. are you going to buy me another cup of expresso?

I arrived home forty minutes after midnight and got pissed off when the light bulb in my bedroom got busted. fuck. i’m so dead-tired and i dont want to drive back to frisco. what a way to start the day!

So, after almost an hour of searching for a spare bulb from my not-so-organized kitchen cabinets…i found one..still inside the fairway hardware plastic bag..yipee.

Next problem…well..he he he…i dont know how to do it…i mean…how to get the busted bulb out and then putting the new bulb in..yellow me…i’m afraid i might get electrocuted…i imagine the smell of burnt flesh..and me…poor me..burned beyond recognition…and people will say.."so gwapo..sayang"..he he he

I’ve been living in this place for 2 years now and I’ve had some "not-so-exciting" experiences on getting mild electric shocks from power sockets…in fact..just yesterday morning…i was "tickled" by the power socket in my study area when i plugged in the ac cord of my iPod..fuck. so there…that’s the main reason why i’m a little scared. (read: little)

But i dont think I have a choice…I have to do it..but how…should i turn the light switch off…but how am i suppose to know if the bulb is working..should i turn off the circuit breaker…ah damn.

Well..got to do it anyway…so…I’m Godo..Mr. Electric Man!

After thirty minutes of mumbling..praying..panicking..he he he…tada….

yeah!

kaya ko pala!!!!  he he he

…fear ate my whole being when we were told you were not breathing. i felt so helpless and all i could do was hold mommy in her shoulders. i was praying in my head…please God not now, please. i know you are fighting it out–for us..and i want to thank you for that…but then, i know..when its time..its time…i love you daddy.

i can’t sleep, so….

THE LAST TIME YOU..

really smiled: a few months ago

cried: just a few hours ago at the hospital

had sex: can’t remember really..damn..dry season

had a nightmare: last week (while sleeping at the hospital couch…a kid is trying to suffocate me with a Pooh pillow..weird)

last thing you had to drink: black coffee

last thing you ate: a can of Spam (Smoked Turkey)

NORMAL STUFF

your name: Ray Godfrey Lester Francis

do you like it?: damn..not really..its too long..i like Ray Godfrey…but Lester and Francis..heck

nicknames: Godo, Gudoy, Gods, Bunsoy, Bontotitoy

FAVORITES

number: 6

day: sunday

months: July, November, December

song: currently loving "we’re so far away" by MAE

drink: coca cola and black coffee

vegetables: ahh…not really into it..but i like carrots and broccoli

fruits: apple, pears, banana, avocado

radio stations: 90.3 FM, Energy 92.7 the beat of the bay!

movies: just check my friendster profile..i’m too lazy to type them here..sorry

breakfast: sausage mcmuffin and coffee

sexual position: hmmm…they call it doggie…ha ha ha..but i love it more when she’s on top….girl power..yeah

part of the house: my bedroom

place for vacation: hawaii

OTHERS

do you write in cursive or print? cursive

are you a left-handed or right-handed person? left-handed

do you have glasses or contacts? contacts..for my astimag-porma..err..i mean..astigmatism

do you look like any celebrities? hmm..they say i look this and that…i dont know…i think i look like ate yei…or more like my mom

do you think your "hot’? yeah and i am really hot…ha ha ha

what are you going to do after this non-sense blog? sleep ( i need it badly)

"I think your heart grows back bigger ya know, once you get the shit beat out of you. And the universe lets your heart expand that way, cause that’s the function of all this pain and heartache that you go through and you gotta go through that to come out to a better place."  - Jake, Must Love Dogs

hey, we never had a "real serious" conversation since you arrived here and i want u to know that what we had a while ago–that conversation in the car– was really something. thanks for opening up. but i guess what you’ve told me is too petty to waste your tears and energy on. just dont ask her about it anymore, dont ask her why, what happen, why she did it because it might just add up to whatever pain you are feeling right now. what you dont know won’t hurt you, remember? stop thinking about it and please, sleep.

…a vento iced mocha

… a tiramisu martini

… some peace of mind

… to shave some unwanted hairs (pubic, chest, armpit)

… to go skydiving

… to talk to a stranger and ask "mukha ba akong malibog?"

… to take a boat ride to hawaii (miss my cousins there)

… to kiss "ditse" in public and hear people say "oh, what a sweet young couple"  and then we will laugh and say "he’s my bro, she’s my sis"

… to hear ate love say "and everythiiiing"..in person

… to paint some colors in the ceiling of my gloomy room (i want to paint some stars, blue sky and the face of angelina jolie)

… FHM Philippine edition (with Iwa Moto on the cover, hello moto!)

… to have "her" back again on my friendster’s friend’s list

… mommy, daddy and yaku to get well

… ate yei to be here with me (i need a yaya he he he)

… "them" to realize that money cannot buy a family

… to walk naked on the streets of hayward, flashing a "peace" sign

… to stop writing…need to drive back to the hospital

… to thank you for reading this non-sense blog (hey you can leave a comment if you want!)