-APHASIA-

God has been so good to our family. His steadfast love never cease to amaze me. This week was one of those "blessed" weeks and inadequate as it may seem, let me count the ways:

#1: Daddy is finally out of the hospital. He still can’t walk and talk that well, but hey, he’s alive and he’ll have his therapy next week. What a blessing! Mommy is going back to the Philippines by tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. She’ll stay there for 2 weeks to fix some things and then she’ll be back to stay here for good (I hope).

#2: Welcome to the family, Joehan Angelo N. Joaquin, my new nephew. He was born February 21, 2007 at University of California San Francisco Medical Center. Wow! Jay-Jay is now a big bro!

#3: I’m now a crew trainer!!!

#4: The major financial problem is over for now. The land in Penaranda, Nueva Ecija, Philippines was finally sold. Thank God. We don’t have to borrow from banks or from relatives.

#5: The family is still complete, we are alive, we are hurting but surviving in God’s grace

#6: Had my check up yesterday. There was no major rupture or something with the hernia operation. It was a very minor bleeding I was told. There’s no need for me to panic! Thank God

#7: Surviving the week with just some few bucks and I was able to pay my bills with my own money, what a blessing!

#8: I’m doing okay in school. This week was running smoothly. it really pays to organize and schedule module readings before and after school.

#9: I dont understand why "we" always feel the "after-shock" with everything that has been happening between the two of them. It seems that the fault of him is the fault of us I think the family has been bruising and hurting. but hey, God is showing us one thing…we are indeed stronger together..and as long as we abide in His love..we will stand.

#10: there’s a lot lot more…words are not enough…His love is great and beyond words!

"the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, new every morning, great is Thy faithfulness"

i was about to check my mail when i saw an article called "what scares a man?" at yahoo’s home page. nice, interesting piece i should say.let me share the article with you guys (with some of my comments too he he he). the url of the article is:

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/17701/what-scares-a-man

You probably think you know what frightens most men. A long-weekend at the
in-laws’ place. Antiquing. Running out of beer in the third quarter. But that’s
just the stuff he’ll admit to being afraid of, which, by definition, means
they’re not his true deep fears. So how can you determine what those are? Easy:
They’re the ones he’ll almost never talk about. But I will.

Let’s count down through the Scary Fifteen:

#15 Hair in the drain. The first sign of male pattern
baldness brings a man face-to-follicle with a skimpy aspect of his future. And
it’s always earlier than he expects or wants (which is, like, never). Logically,
men know that baldness is as much of a part of life as Leno making Britney
jokes. Logically, men know that being bald doesn’t mean that they’re any less
smart, virile, or successful. Logically, men know that women don’t care how much
hair their men have. Logically, men know there are plenty of bald men who are
comfortable in their skin–no matter how much of it they’re showing. But when it
first happens, it feels like stepping on a scale and being 20 pounds heavier or
waking up in high school with a quarter-sized nose pimple. It’s the inevitable
and uncontrollable change in appearance that men try so desperately to protect.
Maybe even more importantly, this moment when a man starts losing his hair says
a lot about him-whether he’s cool enough to handle it, or anxious enough to
attempt to deny it with combovers, Rogaine, or faith healers.

#14 Getting caught noticing another woman. (Agree with this one-Me) A man’s
instinctual response to visual stimulation very rarely has anything to do with
his current relationship or how he feels about it. But his lizard brain reacts
instantly, and before he knows he’s doing it, he’s looking at someone else. We
hate having to explain behaviors that even we don’t fully understand.

#13 Rejection. Doesn’t matter whether it happens after a job
interview, or at a bar, or on the basketball court. And remember, there’s a
difference between losing and being outright rejected. Men can handle losing a
game or having a bar conversation disintegrate into nothing. But the proud
creatures that men are, they hate having their shots blocked. Mainly, that’s
because it means that someone else has the upper hand-and is gloating about
it.

#12 Super Nanny.(Actually, I dont mind playing Nanny to my nephews and nieces and even younger cousins. I love kids!-me)

#11 Speedos.

#10 His dad’s death. It’s his most powerful moment of a
reflection, as he thinks about his own mortality. Becoming the family patriarch
is heavy stuff. For many men, it’s a life-changing moment, because they think
about what their fathers did for them and what they failed to do. The next step:
Considering what they need to do to be better dads and better men
themselves–which means they must confront their own failures, as well. That’s a
lot for a grief-stricken man to deal with. He should get some latitude to do
that in his own way. For him, reaching out may be through what seem
like misdirections–more chatter about fishing with friends, an extra set of
tickets to the Phillies showdown with the Mets. But guys need a reason to get
together; the talk will come during a slow point in the 6th inning, or in the
car on the way home. (I agree with this one 101%- me)

#9 Her tears. Men know it’s natural, that women need to do
it, and that it’s a signal that they better provide something more than just a
tissue-even though many men have no clue what that something might be. Men have
been told that women cry for all kinds of reasons-to release some emotions, to
get our attention, or just because dammit, The Bachelor rose ceremony
is so stinkin’ sad. Men want to do the right thing, but because men don’t
navigate those falling waters very often, they probably do the wrong thing more
often than not. Which is another reason why they fear her emotional tsunami.

#8 Being a lousy lover. Of all the things that men want to
happen in bed, pleasing their women ranks near the top of the list, according to
a national Men, Love, and Sex survey by Harris Interactive.
Men hate to think that women may be bored, unimpressed, or unsatisfied. Maybe
it’s an ego thing (okay, it is an ego thing), but men do very genuinely
care about how much pleasure a woman is having in bed. That’s why the faking
thing drives men so crazy. To men, feigned pleasure is code for: You’re so
damn terrible at this, but there there, little fella, I’m gonna make you feel
good about your inadequate self. Men want to know what women want, and they
want to be successful in delivering it.

#7 Not being a god to his kids. There comes a time when men
don’t care much about what strangers, co-workers, friends, in-laws, or anybody
else thinks about them. But when a kid articulates his father’s flaws, it’s the
ultimate heart crumbler. Men know that sometimes they work too much or are too
short-fused or simply fall short on the hero-dad meter, but deep down, they know
it’s the most important job that they’re going to do. And if they don’t do it
right, they know there’s a significant chink in their masculine armor.

#6 Living paycheck to paycheck. Even though men aren’t the
only hunters and providers anymore, they still feel a deep evolutionary pull to
provide the backbone and protection for their tribe. When men lose money, can’t
make enough money, or are scrounging for money, it can be an emotional
disaster-it makes them feel like they’re losing control in their lives.

#5 Beautiful women. Few things intimidate men more than IRS
audits and 12-foot birdie putts. A beautiful woman is one of them. A beautiful
woman-whether spotted at work, in bookstores, driving in the next lane,
anywhere-simply has the power to turn a man of steel into creamed corn. Men know
this. Men try to resist this. Ultimately, it’s a challenge. Beauty may be a
short-lived form of power, but it is profound, and nearly all men cower before
it. It can make them do really, really stupid things.

#4 Getting naked. Ladies shouldn’t think that they’re alone
in fleshy hang-ups. Guys are just as concerned about what women will initially
think about their body hair, muscles, guts, toes, and other parts. Men are
deeply aware that they can be too fat, too skinny, too hairy, too smelly, and
while men are eager to revel in a woman’s body, they also share anxiety about
revealing their own.

#3 Tofurky.

#2 Not seeing his kids grow up. Death, of course, scares
everyone-not so much for the bad stuff that may happen to them, but for missing
out on all the good stuff that will happen to their kids. Or, worse yet, not
being around to protect them from the bad stuff.

# 1 Public humiliation. Here’s one that will make even the
strongest men cave: Looking weak. Whether a man is extremely secure-or insanely
insecure-about himself, he’s worries that he’ll look incompetent, idiotic, or
both. Doesn’t matter whether it’s a zipper malfunction, an off-color joke he
mistakenly slips in during a speech, a dismissive statement by a boss in a
department meeting, fumbling the fly ball at a softball game, getting arrested
for fighting after his kid’s soccer game, whatever. It’s one thing to make
mistakes. But making the reputation-damaging ones in public is tough to take.
That’s because as much as men try to protect their homes, their families, their
appearance, and their jobs, perhaps the most nerve-wracking job of all is
protecting the thing they can’t cure with money, with effort or with laser hair
removal: their reputations.

What secretly scares you? Fess up and share it here.

I wonder what scares women the most????

..that these trials, struggles, pains…they are not curses nor bad karma. these are God’s way of showing us how much He loves our family. i see it as an opportunity for Him to show His great and unconditional love. we are bleeding, yes, we are hurting, yes, but we are loved, we are never out of His grace.

when she saw the flowers on top of the side table near the stairs, i saw the surprised happy look in her eyes and when she saw me standing, smiling and ready to give a hug, she said:

"bunso! wow. thank you anak. thank you!"

and before i could say a word…she gave me a warm hug and kissed me on my lips.

so..who said…that an unattached, no date, but attractive, young man (just like me he he he) wouldn’t be happy on valentine’s day?

..even if the sun refuse to shine, even if romance ran out of rhyme.you would still have my heart until the end of time, you’re all i need, my love, my valentine..

i love you mommy!!!!!

..why all of a sudden, you remembered me, you even bothered to call and you want to see me? what a surprise!

but i’m not a "spare tire"—–someone that you can always go back to when things didnt turn out right for you and whoever-that-son-of-a-bitch ex-boyfriend of yours is. you’ve done that twice already and i was twice a fool too, for letting you, for giving in, thinking that its lovelier the second or is it thrice, around. but i think i’m a grown up now. you cannot just make me jump into "shallow waters".

i dont think i want to see you…not today..not in the distant future…i’m not your "spare tire" anymore..i’m too handsome for that don’t you think? wink!

"baby, don’t waste your time, I know what’s on your mind. I may be qualified for a one night stand but I could never take the place of your man"

                     - i could never take the place of your man, prince

-one more thing-

happy birthday (s) to my cousin, pao suaverdez (rock on dude!!!) and to uncle benjie sanchez (how’s vancouver?)

congratulations to the indianapolis colts for winning the elusive NFL title over chicago bears! what a score…29-17! and what a game for superbowl MVP awardee Peyton Manning..247 yards!!! amazing!

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what a heck! main street’s northbound lane will be partially close on saturday, february 10, from 12 noon to 7pm…for a business event!!! just saw the announcement this morning. oh well….

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what’s the weather today? partly cloudy. morning fogs. east winds 5 to 15 mph. a chance of rain? none.

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a piece of advise: read between the lines. sometimes she makes it look difficult when actually it is not. it’s normal. sometimes when we are afraid to admit something that will expose our ego, we tend to hide in our cocoon. but it will come out. it will surely come out. so dont be bothered. it looks difficult. it looks so uncaring. it sounds so cold. but..it’s not…just read…read between the lines.

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Spectator’s banner story bothered me. It reads "FBI investigative report states violent crimes in Hayward increased 24.3 percent".  last year, it was oakland. i hope there’s no competition here.

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i’m fascinated with the chabot women’s basketball team. they call themselves "lady gladiators". my cousin, weena, is studying in chabot and she knows i have this big crush on Tiennifer Rowe. he he he. go go go lady glads!

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there’s a new resto here in hayward called elephant restaurant. i hope they are not serving elephant dishes. the thought makes me puke. gwark! i saw the ad and it says "the elephant bar seek out the culinary pleasures of Asia, the Tropics and sensational regional favorites". a friend told me the resto’s interior is "very jungle". maybe i’ll go there this weekend..who wants to go with me…meet me at southland drive, dinner!!!

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dad is still at the hospital. out of the ICU (again). there were some progress although some are very minor.nevertheless, we are just happy that he’s out of the ICU and can already breathe on his own. he still cant talk that much but last night, he said "gud-o" and that’s me! and i’ve missed that voice!

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i’ve been sleepless since last week.is it insomia or "i-just-cant-stop-thinking-of-u" syndrome? whatever it is..its making my nights difficult. i think i’ve counted millions of sheeps already. and i’m tired of counting and i’m tired of sheeps. so, last night, i counted strippers but it only made me un-sleepy. :(   maybe i’ll just think of a sleepy story or a sleepy thought or maybe think of happy thoughts and smile while sleeping.

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song playing in my head since the time i wake up:

I’ve been thinking ’bout everyone,
Everyone you looks so lonely
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
When I look at the stars
The stars, I feel like myself          -switchfoot, stars

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i wonder why winnie the pooh is not wearing an underwear. i know. i know. it’s an old debate. but there’s no answer yet. but come to think of it, one reality strikes us all here…underwear doesnt make a person..so whether you are wearing one or not..it doesnt matter…he he he..i’m not wearing one right now.

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i just want to apologize. you know who you are. so sorry if i’ve offended you. i didnt mean to hurt your feelings. i should have been cautious of my words because you are so sensitive and you are in a difficult condition right now. i didnt say you are the villain. i just hope you wont judge him just like that. dont say that he doesnt need you. let him say that to you. and if you heard him say those words. then, believe. i hope we could still talk. you are really nice. i just hope you are reading this blog. i hope you’ll get well soon. i will still pray for you.

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missing a lot of people. hope you guys will "surface" soon. i miss my sisters too. c’mon guys, why are you gaining weight? is that the "in" thing there in the Philippines? can someone tell me why Filipinos are so into "eat all you can, no sharing, no left over" thing?

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finally…this…

"We all think we’re going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met. But sometimes expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still, the expected’s just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives." -Dr. Meredith Grey

"A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life —Isadora James"

ate yei, you are this to me and more. happy birthday. i love you!!!!